Editor in Mischief

Let’s first take a moment to offer our congratulations to the Right Honourable George Osborne, MP for Tatton, for securing a sixth job in such a competitive market where many struggle to get a foothold and often find them themselves in low-skilled, under-payed jobs.  He’s had a hard time of it!

In May, Osborne will become the editor of The Evening Standard – a London newspaper with a circulation of nearly 1m and a readership of nearly double that.  Adding to his bursting resume which also includes a stint at a US fund management firm where he rakes in £650,000 p.a. for four days work a month.

You can’t help but feel Britain’s meritocracy has gone to the dogs when the City elite - the Ye Olde English Oxbridge grads born into rural affluence - continually monopolise the highest offices of public life.  In fact, we’ve been told he only applied for the job when friends contacted him to ask for advice with their own applications – I suspect these friendships are no longer blossoming!

I realise this post risks turning into a cynical pseudo-Marxist analysis, but the whole thing just stinks.  It’s the exact opposite of what we’re taught (at least in state schools) that getting a job, especially one as prestigious as the position of editor, is based on merit, skills, experience, etc.  I have my Journalism 1a class from first year of uni - quite literally making me more qualified to do this job than Osborne.

I don’t totally discredit Osborne’s competency for this role.  I’m sure he’ll be useful when it comes to the broad strategic direction of the paper and its finances, and I understand there’s different routes into jobs.

But my understanding of the position of editor (maybe this is now old-fashioned) is a job rooted in the fundamentals of journalism – indeed the very highest position in a news outlet.  I would be curious to know if Osborne was familiar with the news writing formula; or if he knows the best sub-editing techniques; or if he knows the essence of a good feature article; or the basic legal dilemmas faced by journalists every day.  How he can call himself an editor without even a basic knowledge of journalism (never mind practical experience) seems hard to believe.  I imagine his role at the Evening Standard will be more ceremonial, giving a seal of approval, deciding the paper’s broad direction – a manager rather than an editor.

Maybe Osborne can find a way to adapt his competencies; but his decision to stay on as an MP is incredible.  Being a member of parliament is more than a full-time job - if you’re an MP who doesn’t understand this then you are a terrible MP.  To some extent, it can be appropriate for an MP to have another job; but George Osborne’s current CV is incredulous.  He is either arrogant to the point of disbelief or totally naïve about what being the editor of a paper with a circulation of 1m will involve: it can be a 100 hour week according to some editors.  His justification for taking the job because he can ‘edit the paper in the morning and vote in the afternoon’ is a naïve attempt to reconcile the impossible and will fail to satisfy a scrupulous, distrusting public.  Maybe he’s on a zero hours contract at The Evening Standard?  Nonetheless, BBC media editor Amol Rajan was the first to break the story and his analysis makes for insightful reading.

And finally, let’s have a superficial take: a prominent governing politician is now in charge of a media outlet whose role is to inform people of the facts and hold the powerful to account when appropriate.  The conflict of interests is astounding; and at a time when public trust in the press and politicians is at an all-time low.

Objectivity is in peril.  How will The Evening Standard cover negative stories about Osborne’s government? How will it cover the Labour London mayor?  What’s in the public interest, and what the people of London need to know about, is now decided by a governing politician whose political success relies on positive publicity - and this agenda is filling the pages of newspaper with a circulation of 1m.  Surely you can see the problem here.

Indeed, many have suggested he has taken the role as a platform for vengeance after Theresa May sacked him.  Others are already calling for Osborne to resign as an MP or for this new appointment to be investigated by parliament because it could breach ministerial code.

The upper echelons of Britain’s media and politics seem to unwittingly find new ways to feed populism like a fat pig.  The manufactured caricature by the right-wing press of educated, reasonably well-off voters concerned with the consequences of decisions based on transient and vacuous populism - the ‘liberal elite’ - has been effective in detracting from the true elite: George Osborne and his ilk.

How to Troll a Middle Eastern Magazine

This notification was recently emailed to journalism students at Strathclyde University.  I think there's a few things misguided here...  I interpreted the notice as satirical so I responded accordingly.

Hi my name is Gemma Emmerson and I am deputy editor of a magazine and website called Perfect Fit. We have an exciting opportunity for journalism students to get their work published and start to build up their portfolio.

I am looking for articles that are suitable for the modern Middle Eastern male aged 18-40 who likes to eat healthily, work out, look good and spend money! Perfect Fit is published in Kuwait but the website www.perfectfitmagazine.com is available worldwide, and it is online content that I am looking for.

We do not pay for online articles however if I like one of your articles enough and I want it to go in the magazine then I will pay for the contribution. This is the second year we have contacted unis for student contributions. Last year, a student named Danyal Khan got in touch with me and after many free contributions (his work ethic and quality of writing really impressed him) I offered him regular paid work to supply us with sports news for the website; you can see all of his articles online. As a journalism student though, the opportunity to get your work published online is  great incentive; I consider ALL WORK and the more you write, the more we publish; there is no limit to the amount of articles I can put onto the website. A few house rules…

Culturally, this is a masculine, men only magazine. Alcohol is illegal in Kuwait so please no ‘hangover workouts’ or anything like that. Homosexuality is also forbidden (not our personal view of course) but it means we cannot have any ‘gay guy’s gym guide’. Also please no female references, Kuwait is one of the most liberal of the Middle Eastern countries but gyms are still separated by gender so no ‘boyfriend/girlfriend training sessions’, or ‘what she says vs. what she means’ features and definitely no sex tips!

Finally, if you are writing training/workout guides (this is the biggest section of the magazine) please remember that in Kuwait it can often be over 40-degrees outside. There will be no ‘getting off the bus a stop earlier’ or outdoor bootcamps, it is simply too hot. Kuwaitis go to the gym or the mall to shop, eat and watch movies and that’s it! Nearly everything is done indoors where it is cool. As I mentioned before, the main pursuit in the gym is heavy weights so anything to do with that is very welcomed - body building clothes/supplements/eat to gain etc, although we are starting to diversify our training content to include CrossFit, calisthenics, MMA and similar pursuits.

In terms of what we are expecting for the website - keep it short and snappy. Articles of around 250 words are perfect. You don’t need to do weeks of research or lengthy interviews or vox pops, a good place to start is to google ‘weight loss research 2015’ and look at stories that you can rewrite, for example ‘EXERCISE DOESN’T WORK’ New research from a study in Australia shows that exercise is useless and eating biscuits is the only sure-fire way to get ripped, or ‘KUWAIT OVERTAKES USA IN OBESITY’ or ’20 BANANAS A DAY CURES MALE BALDNESS’ etc. Also Kuwaitis love American culture and movie stars, so ’10 MOVES TO GET JACKED LIKE JACKMAN’ to ‘THOR-THE CHRIS HEMSWORTH WORKOUT’ ’10 FAVOURITE CELEBRITY VACATIONS’ or ‘JAY-Z’s WATCHES’, you get the idea?

The sections we split stories into are:
WARM UP

TRAIN

FUEL

LIVE (features)

STYLE

COOL DOWNYou don’t have to tell us which section you think your story will go into, we will do that, it’s just to give you a guide.We are expecting quite a fast turnaround with website articles, links will also be posted on Facebook and Twitter so this is a really good opportunity to practice fast research and copywriting - particularly if you’re interested in magazine journalism - the faster you can churn out a sharp, snappy page of copy the better your chances of working on a magazine. We are aiming for at least one fresh article a day on the website but my ultimate goal is three. As you get into the habit of turning out a quick 250 words article, it’ll be almost robotic, it is a really good writing exercise!You can visit the website at www.perfectfitmagazine.com or see the online versions of the magazine at www.issuu.com I hope to hear from you soon! Gemma

Dear Ms Emmerson,

My name is Christopher Park and I am a fourth year english student at the University of Strathclyde.  I received a notification of your exciting opportunity to submit for Perfect Fit magazine in Kuwait - and I read it with much gusto!  Therefore I have a few ideas I would like to pitch – if you would be so kind to read on. 

The prohibition laws on alcohol are extremely unfortunate, not like the UK at all; indeed, I wonder how any person from a liberal democracy could possibly find any shared interest or value and pen it for this magazine - ! But, as they say in the Middle East: when life gives you lemons, make vodka lemonade.  So to turn those frowns around I think an article entitled “How ‘ae ‘ave a Cheeky Wee Bevy oan the Sly” would be helpful in bridging those trivial cultural differences!

Also, you pointed out weight lifting as a specific area of interest for Kuwaiti men: “How to Bench Like a Jihadist” would be a more comical piece.

Now, I know you said “please no female references”, but given the Kuwaiti fetish for all things American, I was thinking we could basically just plaster the magazine with that photo of Lady Gaga that makes her look like she has a penis?

And finally, “How to Run Away from your Homosexuality”, would be an advice column for the… running aficionado.  I think you’ll have to decide what section that goes in. 

There will be no qualms with any of these ideas because, as you said yourself, Kuwait is a liberal utopia.  Moreover, I’ll make sure all the articles are short and snappy and are based on no credible modes of journalism.  As you eloquently suggested, the best way to practice journalism is to plagiarise online articles; rest assured, all of my ideas are completely unoriginal.

Unfortunately, given the superlative quality of my ideas, I demand payment.  This can be negotiated, of course, and I am willing to settle at one camel for the lot. 

I look forward to hearing from you.

All the best,
Christopher.     

   

Speech: Why I should be the Next Features Editor

Hi everyone, my name’s Chris Park and I’ve just finished first year studying journalism and creative writing and english.  I’m going to tell you why you should vote for me to be your features editor next year.

     Nearly two years ago, I visited Strathclyde on an open day to see the campus and discover the Uni.  I’d come to listen to a presentation about why I should take journalism and study here.  But on my visit I was only interested in finding out if the Uni had a student newspaper.  When I picked up the Strathclyde Telegraph for the first time that day I knew this was the opportunity I’d been looking for: to write and work with like-minded people and help produce Strathclyde’s fantastic student paper.

     I never hesitated in signing up on Fresher's Week and since then throughout the year I’ve written countless articles for the Telegraph covering news, features, music and arts.

     But writing for features has always been my favourite.  This is because I’m passionate about writing.  I’ve got my own style and would look forward to bringing this to the features section. 

     I also think I’d make a great features editor because I know the student audience: I know what it means to be a student and I’ve always tried to write articles that students can enjoy and relate to.   For example, in the current issue I have an article published about student finance.

     If I’m elected features editor I’ll continue to make sure that the section is fresh, varied and enjoyed by all students.  Some ideas I have include a specialist section covering current affairs or politics or maybe even a section on science and technology which would appeal to even more people. 

    This year I’ve learned so much.  And I really love Strathclyde Uni.  Writing for the Telegraph has been an absolute highlight and I would feel privileged to start the next year as your features editor.

     My favourite writer, F. Scott Fitzgerald, once said that “action is character”.  I’ll always take the right action to ensure the Strathclyde Telegraph remains exciting, respected and always the best.