Crying at the Christmas Ads

     Baby Jesus secretly hopes the three wise men kept their gift receipts.  I mean seriously: gold, frankincense and myrrh – what the hell is a baby supposed to do with those? Adhering to social protocol he feigns appreciation with an angelic smile; but the three weary travellers can sense he’s obviously disappointed with his misguided gifts and they are dismayed - the overly sentimental Christmas advert made the presents look so attractive.  They weren’t quite sure what it was advertising but the appeal was there.  Really, the new-born king just wanted the 7 foot stuffed elephant from Hamleys.

Let’s face it, the Nativity Story of the 21^st century would read something like that.  What used to be something synonymous with Christianity has now become so consumer-orientated that it wouldn’t surprise me if the current generation of kids didn’t even know Christmas was actually a religious festival.  Although, I’m not criticising. I love Christmas in the 21^st century.  It’s inevitable that the meaning of Christmas will change and adapt to fit the society and people celebrating it.  Jesus has been replaced by Santa; gold, frankincense and myrrh with Ipads, gift vouchers and Call of Duty.  Spending money has always been part of the Christmas ‘spirit’, but now it’s more lavish than ever with the average Christmas budget to be £600 this year.

It would seem that the spending frenzy is a consequence of a wider phenomenon which has swept the pre-Christmas build up and pervades our TV screens in-between the X-Factor.  I’m talking about the advertising.  I’m sure you will have noticed them by now.  There is no escape.  Most of the adverts are dull and uninspired, leaving viewers with the sensation they get after a Christmas-cracker joke.

However, over the past few years one store’s adverts really stand out: the John Lewis ads. Typically a sequence of scenes following individuals as they procure gifts for family and friends in the anticipation of Christmas; always backed by an acoustic version of a well know, emotionally-charged ballad.  You may remember last year’s which followed the story of a boy desperate for Christmas with the twist that he wanted presents, not for himself, but to give to give to his parents. It received over 4 million YouTube views and this year the high-street department store is aiming to do the same with their advert entitled “The Journey”.  This one sees a personified snowman risk life and limb on a treacherous journey to the city to bring back his female companion a gift.  The emotion is intense as always and the mystical cover of ‘The Power of Love’ makes a tear-jerking watch.  But with £6 million spent on this one ad, we have to ask ourselves just how effective it actually is. Sure, we feel something for the poor snowman: climbing mountains; crossing rivers and motorways; caught in the crossfire of a snowball fight – there is something about his journey, his determination and his happy ending that we can empathise with.  But does his ‘journey’ really make us want to spend money at John Lewis?  It’s either marketing at its best or we’re just suckers for a good story, especially at Christmas.   

Whatever it is, the adverts are to be enjoyed accordingly: they won’t resonate with everyone and most people find them hit-and-miss.  Their emotional appeal is just a marketing technique to reflect the sentimentality associated with the Christmas spirit.  What’s more, the idea that Christmas is now just ‘all about the money’ is only a problem when people begin to get greedy; but there’s nothing wrong with buying gifts for your family and friends – and it’s always special when it’s reciprocal.  But the fuss over presents and money can make Christmas stressful for some people and they are anxious rather than excited for the big day.  Christmas has become so inflated by all the hype that it’s not clear any more what it really means today.  In some sense, the build up to Christmas is more exciting than the day itself; but for me, Christmas is a time of year to appreciate the little things.  The glistening lights in the city centre; the rush and bustle of last minute shopping; the still, icy landscapes; family traditions like going to the cinema on Christmas Eve; and most of all, those damn ads – they give me misty eyes every year! 

Fun Live at the 02 ABC, Glasgow

    

     Why am I seeing Fun?  They have one good song; they’re just a one hit wonder – ok, apparently a two hit wonder.  I don’t even like We Are Young (they’re signature track) it seems to give me a migraine every time I hear it – I’m aware that’s a bizarre and misguided justification – but that’s what I thought when standing in the queue for almost two hours.  Tickets were bought on a whim but for £12.50 I was quite content. 

     The band hail from New York and comprise of Nate Ruess, Andrew Dost and Jack Antonoff.  I did feel privileged to discover that the gig was sold out; in fact they sold out all UK venues and almost everywhere else on their US and European tour.  Not bad for a two hit wonder.  True to the gig’s sold out status throngs of people had turned out: the queue disappeared up the hill and around the corner; one elderly passer by stated the obvious: “oh tremendous queue, will be full house tonight.”  Much to his envy it was and the O2 ABC was bursting with excited fans packed in to see these new international stars. 

      The band’s first album Aim and Ignite was released in 2009 and they remained virtually unheard of in the UK. It’s an interesting (sometimes bohemian) indie sound with Nate’s intriguing vocal cadences backed by powerful instrumentals.  But they shot to stardom earlier this year with their indie power- pop record We are Young appealing to the drunken “YOLO” generation of today’s youth.   Their latest album is just as captivating; albeit perhaps made more commercial by occasional auto-tuning and a feeling of less ingenuity in some of the songs compared to Aim and Ignite.

     As I expected, the tracks from Some Nights were the focus of the gig.  Carry on – a song of hope in difficult times – was their opener and a tremendous crowd pleaser from the new album.  They made sure to dip in and out of their traditional material to satisfy diehard fans.  Walking the Dog was performed well and the band’s enthusiasm on stage conveyed the track’s quirkiness.  While the mood was slowed down for The Gambler: a sentimental track about the band’s home and family making for a charming interlude from the overall energy of the gig.  Their cover of You Can’t Always Get What You Want by the Rolling Stones was a fitting song choice and well performed; however a few good songs from the first album were omitted from the set list that I’m sure would have been preferred.

     The hallmark of any great concert is the connection between the audience and the artist on stage.  Fun never failed to engage the crowd.  We revelled as they urged us to introduce melodious track Barlights with a repeated chant of “I feel alive”; at some points they the band were very nearly out sung – especially as they performed We Are Young.   I was convinced it would be the encore but Nate declared “another highlight” as the opening drums for the anthem rolled out and the audience knew exactly what they were doing.   I can now say I have a new found love for that song and any headache has vanished as I listen to it on replay.

     That could only mean that the final song was reserved for Some Nights, their latest single: an evocative rhapsody, potentially the best song on the album – far more meaningful than its predecessor.  Like every song before it, Some Night was performed with style and vigour.  The crowd left chanting the lyrics - the words of Fun’s tracks resonated with me all the way home from what was an exceptional gig.    

     “If you’re lost and alone or you’re sinking like a stone – carry on; may your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground – carry on!”  

       

           

Arts VS Science - Fianlly Settling the Score

Here’s what I’m not: mathematical, scientific or technical; but here’s what I am: linguistic, articulate and creative – so why am I being told that I’m subordinate and have poor career prospects? The number of people with math, science and IT skills is slumping. Politicians, professors, corporate and industry bosses are beginning to stir – whispers of growing competition from the far east; rumours of new, lucrative superpowers. Their worried the next generation are too inept for Britain to prosper ahead of the emerging economies of India and China. They seem to believe that behind our hoodies and earphones there’s not a lot going on; the misconception is that some of us are too enthralled in our overly-liberal arts agenda to manage this great nation.

Perhaps it’s true. Britain has the lowest rate of 16-18 year olds studying maths in the developed world. Moreover, most school pupils drop science subjects at 16. So the pressure’s on. Japan has 85% of students achieving a maths A-level; while Indian students spend twice as long studying maths at High School than over here. Many people are under the impression that we need a sudden influx of math and science genii. But they’re mistaken.

When career planning, we should encourage young people to pursue a vocation they’re genuinely passionate about – something they want to do because they enjoy it. It would be wrong to put students in a position that compromised their aspirations by telling them it’s vain to take an arts degree because it will never pay up. Cajoling people into maths and science careers they’re not completely comfortable with only leads to high university dropout rates, increased unemployment and then more people signing on the dole.

Unfortunately, war has broken out between opposing sides of the subject spectrum. There’s now an annoying dogma that subjects pertaining to the arts and social sciences are unworthy, dumbed down and some sort of “easy option”. This attitude has probably stemmed from a growing popularity in arts subjects. But let me tell you that there’s nothing easy about securing a place on arts course with an intake of just 20 and a demand of over 250. As more people apply, entry requirements and competition soar – now only the very best candidates make the grade. Of course this equates with any math or science course. Nonetheless, getting a job as a mathematician is easy pickings with a shortfall of 200 000; succeeding with an arts subject and securing a job will require graft, tenacity and optimum employable skills to breakthrough in the inundated sector.

But in the end, it must be noted that effort and ambition will always be the real winners - regardless of the path you choose. Whether working with novels or test tubes, you will get what you give. And any imbalance between the number of people studying an arts course and the number of people studying a science course will redress itself naturally with no interference necessary. Education statistics from overseas should not be taken at face value and compared directly to ours. Many eastern countries have education embedded in their social values – parents pressure children into studying for hours and hours and anything short of 100% is a failure. This is unsurprising in some cases: education is the best route out of poverty, a problem still rife in China and India. Britain’s erudition in all subject areas is historically renowned and, even today, envied worldwide – why are people migrating from the four corners to come to our Universities? Because they’re the best! From Isaac Newton to Stephen Hawking – our scientists are the stuff of legends. And english? Well, we own it!

Olympic Hype in Scotland - How a Brief Encounter With a Flag and a Flame Changed my Outlook

     As far as I was concerned, the Olympic revelries were reserved only for London and would only push Scotland and England further apart.  Let’s face it, for Scotland, I’ve always felt the Olympics are remote and we are detached from the gusto that pervades every advert, every bottle and every headline.  Nonetheless, despite my cynical apathy I felt compelled to go and see the Olympic Torch as it visited Glasgow.

     Initially it seemed like an event only for kids with the whole road closed for face painting, penalty shots and men on stilts.  I was a little bemused: was it really quiet or were we just early?  So to boost my enthusiasm I bought a Union Jack from a street vender.  I was mocked because apparently it was “offset”; but I cared not, for I had all of a sudden assumed an important role: the flag bearer – the significance of the day was beckoning.

     Stepping out of the shop with my just bought Irn Bru I was astounded at my new found sense of claustrophobia – people were everywhere, a mass army of excited locals had assembled from nowhere.  I thought it easier to take a picture of the crowd rather than try to describe it to the folks back home.  I had never experienced this kind of mutual enthusiasm before, we didn’t know the people we stood beside but we happily chatted in anticipation.   The golden Olympic cars were beginning to go by; the immense buses of Coca-Cola and Samsung right before us energising the crowd; break dancers, cyclists and even some of the local buses; followed by about four police riot vans - probably to collect the officers when it was finished but we had our theories!

    One of the buses stopped.  Emerging from the vehicle to cheers from the crowd was the Olympic Torch and its bearer.  Nominated and representing the local area, she was poised and ready to make her run for this part of the country and its people.  The crowd were elated when they got to touch the Torch, even for a split second: the pristine, twinkling golden beam – the hopes and dreams of a nation, defined and tangible.  There was a pause for photos while the Torch was being lit.  After a final few whispered words the bearer ran with the cheers of the crowd behind her and before her.  My flag, aloft and fluttering – I wish I’d never doubted the Olympics.

     In that moment I knew exactly what I felt: it was pride.  I was proud to support my local Torch bearer; proud to be part of the world’s best sporting event; but also proud to have a sense of belonging in the greatest nation on Earth.   

Review: The Amazing Spiderman

    It was always inevitable that there would be another Spiderman movie.  Not only because Sony Pictures needs to continue to flaunt the Spidey brand or they lose the rights; but because it brings in the money – the legacy of the previous films with Toby Maguire and Kirsten Dunst stands at $2 billion.  So Spiderman 4 was on the agenda but after u-turn a new cast was drawn up to star in an ever popular prequel focusing on Spiderman’s early years.  Initially one would think it’s just the same story as the 2002 film except with different actors - and essentially that’s what it is.  Yet audiences and true believers across the world are clearly satisfied, with The Amazing Spiderman taking $140 million in its first six days.  It’s unsurprising that people will get excited about the return of their favourite hero and Andrew Garfield packs a punch in this turbulent reboot.

     Fanatics will ask the obvious question of whether this remake is better than the original 2002 Spiderman.  On reflection, it’s not better but it’s not worse – it’s different.  Albeit, the story line is similar overall, The Amazing Spiderman feels darker and slicker than the steady, linear narrative of the original.  The audience are blown away by the aerial web-slinging scenes through the urban grit of New York City. Meanwhile combat scenes are memorable and well executed.  The Lizard ripping through a toilet to assail the High School is intense but also funny when the elderly librarian listening to classical music fails to notice the fray and destruction in the background.  Of course, it would be essential to see it in 3D to appreciate the grandeur of the SFX.

     Nonetheless, you can’t help but feel the emotional aspect of the film is the lost in the pace and uproar of the action.  Spiderman is so amazing because he relates to anyone: the struggle of the working class hero and the rise of the underdog.  But at its heart is a love story where Peter Parker is a character torn between being a hero and being a lover.  We don’t care for grade-A student Gwen Stacey (Emma Stone) nearly as much as the belle Mary Jane Watson - I missed the girl next door and the awkward exchanges of Toby Maguire.   Garfield and Stone play their parts and they play them well; but together, their relationship lacks substance feeling like just a casual fling.  This ultimately leaves any attempt at a serious romance scene unconvincing – save perhaps from a first kiss balcony scene that is heart warming enough.   

     However, they now have another two movies to get better acquainted as it was recently announced the latest Spiderman is going to be part of a trilogy.  This is just as well because this film never developed the story line of Peter Parker’s parents.  After so much build up, by the end of the film we only found out that they were “very secretive”.  Although the follow up movies will certainly give fans plenty to look forward to: I’ve already started guessing who the villain will be and who’ll play them.  The Amazing Spiderman represents our friendly neighbourhood hero for the iPod and hooded generation – the concept we’re used to, just adapted slightly to be accessible to today’s cinema goers.  The follow up titles have the potential to be massive if the action is as breathtaking; granted they also develop the relationships and pull the narrative together.  Fans can revel in Spidey’s rebirth and anticipate his return very soon.  Meanwhile I’m sure Sony Pictures are hoping for a Spiderman trilogy as lucrative as its predecessor.  At this rate, it should be. 

Our Technology Fetish is Aggravating but Unavoidable

       Status update: omnipresent phones kinda annoying tbh :/

      Not so long ago I was on a train with two of my ‘android’ friends.  They weren’t robots of course – or were they?  Because their phones were seemingly engineered onto their palms; part man, part machine; minds incarcerated in the small gleaming screens.  There was almost no conversation for the whole 25 minute journey – save from when they stopped button bashing to discuss the endless possibilities of the Blackberry centre button.

     But it’s not just them.  The whole world has become techno-crazy.  Since the start of contract phones the antagonising clinks and rumbles of Blackberries has become ubiquitous.  So much so, you’re actually a bit of a maverick not to own one.

     I deemed it a waste of time to bringing my phone to school; but not doing so is apparently completely perverse.  The mobile phone is now as essential and commonplace as textbooks and lunch money.  Unsurprisingly, texting is now a key communication tool used by schools to contact parents.

     I probably sound a tinge cynical and very, very old fashioned.  And yes, I’m a little intimidated by the price and difficulty of the latest gear.  But the truth is, I do think the potential for today’s phones and computers to maximise our social, working and daily lives is incredible.  Moreover, I’m certainly not convinced computers make us stupid or mar our creativity because they are fundamental learning tools.  However, I was shocked (and a little scared) when a speaker on the news recently admitted that in the near future it will be possible to completely live in the virtual world.  I don’t know about you, but the virtual world seems like a very undesirable place to buy a house and settle down. 

     The return journey now and as I expected my phone fixated friends are indulging themselves once more.  Do I completely elude them?  Do they believe in life beyond the screen?  Or do they permanently reside in the virtual world?  Would it be rude to interpose; would it be rude to express my dismay at being ostracised by the two inanimate objects?  In fact, maybe I have a moral obligation to help liberate my companions from their silicon superiors.

     Use your phone whenever, wherever and for whatever you want: exploit your unlimited minutes and seize its many frivolous facets – which I believe are called ‘apps’.  But I beseech you, please remember standard politeness in the company of others – I can only assume my friends send me endless texts when they’re with their families and ignore them instead!  Don’t be ashamed of your technologically callow friends; overcome the fear and paranoia of “that awkward moment” and give real conversation a second chance.

    Almost time to alight after a long journey of staring out the window.  My contemporaries have been giggling the whole time so I ask what’s so funny.  Turns out they have been texting each other despite being two feet away!   I sigh, give up and return to the window.

     I have no choice, I must adapt to modern times if I’m to sustain life.  I’ve decided, for Christmas, I must update my phone.  But when I become a silicon slave, remember me for the values I fought in vain to uphold.